I just try upload.pause_before_ms=3000 and it's work just fine without cap on reset pin

Thanks
Sylvain Bissonnette

Excuse for the long delay to respond, 

I have bad news,  on my desktop it's work with 1000ms delay without capacitor , but on my laptop it doesn't work with any value from 100ms to 5000ms.  I have this error message:

A fatal error occurred: Failed to connect to ESP32: Wrong boot mode detected (0x13)! The chip needs to be in download mode.

if I place my capacitor on the reset (en) pin it is working,  It's look like a wrong delay between the reset and the bootload mode pin, RTS and CTS

I will try later this week on my desktop with lower value, now it is working with 1000ms

Thanks
Sylvain Bissonnette

Desktop
---------
OS Name	Microsoft Windows 10 Pro
Version	10.0.19044 Build 19044
Other OS Description 	Not Available
OS Manufacturer	Microsoft Corporation
System Name	LABO
System Manufacturer	To Be Filled By O.E.M.
System Model	To Be Filled By O.E.M.
System Type	x64-based PC
System SKU	To Be Filled By O.E.M.
Processor	Intel(R) Core(TM) i7-4790 CPU @ 3.60GHz, 3601 Mhz, 4 Core(s), 8 Logical Processor(s)
BIOS Version/Date	American Megatrends Inc. P2.20, 5/12/2015
SMBIOS Version	2.8
Embedded Controller Version	255.255
BIOS Mode	Legacy
BaseBoard Manufacturer	ASRock
BaseBoard Product	Z97 Killer
BaseBoard Version
Platform Role	Desktop
Secure Boot State	Unsupported
PCR7 Configuration	Binding Not Possible
Windows Directory	C:\WINDOWS
System Directory	C:\WINDOWS\system32
Boot Device	\Device\HarddiskVolume1
Locale	United States
Hardware Abstraction Layer	Version = "10.0.19041.1806"
User Name	Not Available
Time Zone	Eastern Daylight Time
Installed Physical Memory (RAM)	16.0 GB
Total Physical Memory	15.7 GB
Available Physical Memory	11.2 GB
Total Virtual Memory	18.1 GB
Available Virtual Memory	10.3 GB
Page File Space	2.38 GB
Page File	C:\pagefile.sys
Kernel DMA Protection	Off
Virtualization-based security	Not enabled
Device Encryption Support	Reasons for failed automatic device encryption: TPM is not usable, PCR7 binding is not supported, Hardware Security Test Interface failed and device is not Modern Standby, Un-allowed DMA capable bus/device(s) detected, TPM is not usable
Hyper-V - VM Monitor Mode Extensions	Yes
Hyper-V - Second Level Address Translation Extensions	Yes
Hyper-V - Virtualization Enabled in Firmware	Yes
Hyper-V - Data Execution Protection	Yes

Laptop
OS Name	Microsoft Windows 10 Home
Version	10.0.19044 Build 19044
Other OS Description 	Not Available
OS Manufacturer	Microsoft Corporation
System Name	DESKTOP-UMVMCG1
System Manufacturer	HP
System Model	HP Notebook
System Type	x64-based PC
System SKU	W7D78UA#ABL
Processor	AMD A10-9600P RADEON R5, 10 COMPUTE CORES 4C+6G, 2400 Mhz, 4 Core(s), 4 Logical Processor(s)
BIOS Version/Date	Insyde F.38, 3/13/2017
SMBIOS Version	2.8
Embedded Controller Version	85.39
BIOS Mode	UEFI
BaseBoard Manufacturer	HP
BaseBoard Product	8221
BaseBoard Version	85.27
Platform Role	Mobile
Secure Boot State	On
PCR7 Configuration	Elevation Required to View
Windows Directory	C:\WINDOWS
System Directory	C:\WINDOWS\system32
Boot Device	\Device\HarddiskVolume2
Locale	United States
Hardware Abstraction Layer	Version = "10.0.19041.1806"
User Name	DESKTOP-UMVMCG1\Portable
Time Zone	Eastern Daylight Time
Installed Physical Memory (RAM)	8.00 GB
Total Physical Memory	7.47 GB
Available Physical Memory	3.04 GB
Total Virtual Memory	10.7 GB
Available Virtual Memory	5.36 GB
Page File Space	3.25 GB
Page File	C:\pagefile.sys
Kernel DMA Protection	Off
Virtualization-based security	Not enabled
Device Encryption Support	Elevation Required to View
Hyper-V - VM Monitor Mode Extensions	Yes
Hyper-V - Second Level Address Translation Extensions	Yes
Hyper-V - Virtualization Enabled in Firmware	No
Hyper-V - Data Execution Protection	Yes

Maybe it could help
Sylvain Bissonnette
 

The output are the same on each PC,  It's a timing problem in the uploader tool that not respect the appropriate timing between the assert and release reset pin and GPIO that put the MCU in bootloader mode.  Placing the capacitor is a good workaround for the moment.

Thanks for all your time
Sylvain Bissonnette